beBetter 

In previous weeks, I have reflected on the first two stages of finding true purpose as described by Jon Gordon in his intriguing book, The Seed. The third stage that he identifies in the search of true purpose is the growing stage. This phase is where I really began to feel my roots take hold and spread. It was in this stage that I began to nurture and influence more people, while new people began to nurture and influence me. 

Why is the growing stage so painful? I think for me, it is because I could see myself becoming the person I was born to be and yet there were unforeseen barriers and setbacks that were very painful.

Over the past few months, I have been reflecting on my own growth toward finding my purpose. In my last blog I spoke about remembrances from my early preparation years. This caused me to reflect upon The Seed’s second stage, the planting stage. Jon Gordon says, “During the planting stage, you realize it’s not about what others want you to be. It’s not even about what you want yourself to be. It’s about what you were created to be.” 

Effective leaders have a better understanding of themselves and their own identity. As I reflect upon my journey to become a leader, I recognize that my unique capabilities and passions are based on the life experiences, both good and bad, that forced me to learn about myself, stretch myself, and become more effective at leading. These experiences were my preparation stage.

I hope most of you have taken the opportunity to read The Seed: Finding Happiness in Life and Work, by Jon Gordon. This book focuses on the development stages of discovering one’s highest purpose. The first phase in this journey is the preparation stage, which occurs as we are growing up and educating ourselves through schooling and experiences.

My wife and I recently went zip lining in a scenic location in the mountains of North Carolina. For those of you unfamiliar, zip lining is a popular outdoor recreational activity where you are harnessed to a cable hundreds of feet off the ground and “zip” along the line at high rates of speed between landing stations. I have never actually heard of anyone falling from a zip line, but that reality quickly escaped us the first time we stood on the platform.  

In previous blogs I’ve written about moving from good to great, to become the Wise Firm, to accomplish smart, sustainable growth. This requires an uncommon discipline to become knowledge leaders, engage our clients face-to-face on future challenges and deliver services that leave their businesses better than we found them.

Do you ever stop getting brain freeze? Gosh a brain freeze hurts! My grandson and I both got one eating ice cream recently. He handled it better than me. Unfortunately, this is not my first brain freeze. In fact, my career is sprinkled with them.

Client meeting with the price tag still on my new blazer...brain freeze.

The brand new navy blue blazer (never even worn) still flying the friendly skies since I left it on the plane right before my presentation at a national conference...brain freeze. (Good opening joke though)

We are all seemingly perpetually busy. We feel stretched as our inbox at work and personal commitments challenge us daily. When we are stretched, we become overwhelmed, and even big projects slip through the cracks. I also know that when feeling stretched, I can let it affect my attitude and my demeanor. I start to hear questions like, "Are you tired?"
 
Certainly, as I have moved up in leadership, feeling stretched has been a constant companion of mine. I have a strong desire to spend time with everyone, and yet I know it’s impossible. Some days it seems that I am just running from one meeting to another without the ability to really stop and make a difference for someone on my team.

An organization’s strategic focus is similar to the sharpness of a knife. A knife is sharp because energy has been focused at the blade. So, the more focused the energy is at the blade, the sharper the knife, the higher the cutting power, and the stronger the knife. If energy is not focused at the blade, we end up with a dull knife, with diminished cutting power – a weaker knife. A dull knife may be good for spreading butter, but if our goal is to cut something tough, then we are going to experience a lot of frustration.

When we try to do too much, it is as if we are trying to sharpen too many knives in our limited time. We juggle between the sharpening of all the different knives, and in the end, not one knife is sharp enough to be useful. We can be much more effective if we spend our time and focused energy sharpening just a few key knives. The more we focus our energy on a few important things, the sharper our knives become.  

Our clients, prospects and teams want more proactive interactions from us. They want to hear your point of view, your thought leadership and your advice. Not only do we want to be their first call, they actually want us proactively reaching out to them to provide guidance and create that safe haven they need to succeed. We may even need to help them understand when they are wrong. In my experience, they respect a point of view even if they might not agree.  

One of my favorite things as a leader has always been the joy of working with and visiting with team members. I love to learn more about each person, both personally and professionally. It’s also a great time for me to answer questions or help with a problem. As leaders, we must realize that it takes each of us doing our part to make a great firm.

Team members need to know that we understand and believe that they are each important, and we demonstrate our understanding by initiating feedback sessions with them. 

An easy intro, for me, is to ask, “How’s it going?” That is my signal that I would really like to know what a team member is thinking. Additional, specific questions might be: What are you working on? What advice do you have for me? What can I help you with? What do you think I should know? If we don’t initiate the conversation, how are we going to know anything that is going on?

As a leader, I am always striving to be better and grow my skillset. My need to continue to develop is even striking me at home. Recently, my wife had a choking spell with a grape. I quickly learned that I did not show enough compassion for her situation when I did not immediately leap over the couch. She could not believe that I could be so unconcerned. 

I have been sharing with her my areas for development and some of the things I have been working on, and she is really into giving me constructive feedback. After the grape incident, when emotions had subsided, her exact words to me were, “You should be working on your compassion at home too.” On reflection, I failed to react with the compassion and concern I felt as urgently as I should have.