beBetter 

Building Block Two in this series [meant to outline the Four Building Blocks to Move to Advisory Services] is Confidence. 

How do we move our organizations towards advisory services? How do we seize our future by being relevant starting now? I think there are four foundational building blocks. Last week, we discussed the first block: MINDSET SHIFT.

Walking into the sunglass section of this nice sporting goods store, I’m stopping at the Costa sunglasses. As you know from previous blogs, I’m down to one pair and I really want a pair for driving and as a spare for my next moment of stupidity which seems to follow me around.  

“Will you hang these curtains back up? I have the hooks already in them.”

I gaze over at the pile of curtains sitting on our den couch and then up to the tall windows. I’m thinking this will require the ladder for sure.

“Sure, CeCe, that’s the very next thing I will do. Just let me finish with this blog.”

Three hours later, I had my blog draft ready, the dog walked, scoured my Ole Miss football news, paid some bills and finished a snack. Then the glare from the sun hits me right in the eyes as I walk by and I am immediately reminded of the glare that I’m going to get from CeCe when she walks into the room. Oops! I have completely forgotten the curtains.

Last week, we had just cleaned up the duck eggs from our front yard when one egg exploded filled the air with a stench that nearly brought me to my knees. After hosing the sidewalk down, I ran into the house to get away from this smell that was continuing to make me gag.  

It's a beautiful Saturday morning on the Ross Barnett Reservoir and although the crappie bite has been slow, we have a few small fish in our live well. Thump! Oh yeah, I can tell by the bite this is a big fish. Setting the hook with a quick upward thrust of the jig pole, I feel the weight of this fish. Finally, I have a quality fish on. Here he comes to the top wrapped in lily pads. On no, he is hung and if I pull any harder, it will pull the hook out of his mouth. He is literally suspended right above the water. Instantly I'm yelling for help from my favorite crappie fisherman, Bruce. 

Here we go again as I have taken being right too far, and I’m certainly not without fault in this communication snafu. It started as I got home early and CeCe was finishing up outside with some yard work. We sat down for a moment and both agreed we wanted to take Oliver (our Yorkie puppy) for a walk.  

As I walk into the living room, CeCe is in her chair, scanning Facebook or shopping on her phone and my entry goes pretty much unnoticed. Well, let’s be transparent — totally unnoticed. I admit, it’s a real downer as I was hoping that my arrival might peak the slightest bit of excitement, joy, happy greeting or at least an expression of curiosity. Don’t we all look for that recognition and acceptance from our close family and friends?  

Today, February 3, CeCe and I celebrate our 20th anniversary. Hopefully, and Lord willing, as you read this, we are on the beach checking off one of our “bucket list” destinations in St. Lucia. I’ve just finished writing CeCe’s anniversary card. Now I could share the card’s contents with you, but that would be the end of my beBetter blog and ME! CeCe is such a great sport to provide me the liberty to share some of her experiences, both good and bad, so I want to be careful and not get too loose with the stories. 

There are two comments in the card that I think could help each of us to #beEvenBetter.  

“What do you want to do for dinner tonight, CeCe?” I don’t care is her number one response by a long shot. When I’m with team members, “Where do you want to go to lunch today?” “I don’t care.” Wow, if we only had a restaurant named I Don’t Care, it would be full of customers.

It’s Monday night and we have been out of town for four nights now, which I know pushes CeCe’s travel limit. Although I shared with her while sitting on the beach that my schedule for the week would allow me to work remotely for longer, I could tell from her lack of conversation and our prior travel experiences that she will be disappointed if we do not head home tomorrow. So, I start making changes in my schedule to handle all of my calls on the six-hour drive home.  

It’s silent on our nine-person zoom call as one of our partners, Bruce, shares very relevant insights with us. We are (again) experiencing that uncomfortable quiet where no one feels compelled to speak up. Crickets! I think this happens more than we want to admit in our new virtual communication world.

In a recent collaboration meeting with several leaders from numerous organizations and firms, one of them commented, “I think I may have overshared.”  Actually, her thoughts, insights and feelings were exactly what we needed to hear. She had been very vulnerable with us and her comments were both relevant and insightful. After her comment, the word "overshared" kept ringing in my ears. Why did I love this term so much?

Okay, I admit it. I need to be a better listener. The truth is, I learn so much more when I’m not trying to do all the talking. How about you?