beBetter 

This Christmas and holiday season, I wanted to share one of my favorite songs for celebrating Christmas. In December each year, millions of people celebrate religious and spiritually significant holidays, and universally, humankind continues to look for morally good virtues to live by and love is central to all of them.

“What do you want to do for dinner tonight, CeCe?” I don’t care is her number one response by a long shot. When I’m with team members, “Where do you want to go to lunch today?” “I don’t care.” Wow, if we only had a restaurant named I Don’t Care, it would be full of customers.

One of our family traditions at Christmas is to host the kids and grandkids a couple of weeks early so they can stay home on Christmas Day and enjoy Santa and all the festivities that we are blessed to enjoy. My favorite time is when I read the Christmas story to our grandkids as they listen so intently. (I’ve also learned they are even more attentive when they know the gift exchange is up next. Ha!) They love seeing the pictures of baby Jesus in the manger. And for our family, it is really important that they understand the real reason we celebrate Christmas.

In a recent collaboration meeting with several leaders from numerous organizations and firms, one of them commented, “I think I may have overshared.”  Actually, her thoughts, insights and feelings were exactly what we needed to hear. She had been very vulnerable with us and her comments were both relevant and insightful. After her comment, the word "overshared" kept ringing in my ears. Why did I love this term so much?

Do you ever have those moments when something strikes you as profound, but as you reflect on it you realize—well that’s just common sense? Why am I just realizing this? “Listening is caring” is profound for me simply because I had never intentionally connected the dots.

Several years ago due to severe back pain, I discovered I had a condition referred to as dysplastic spondylolisthesis which is caused by a congenital defect (present from birth). This condition has caused a narrowing of my vertebral canal in my lower back. What started as a twitch in my back, quickly put me down! Thankfully, with some rest and medication, the pain subsided and there were no surgeries recommended. I must say I am more careful today than ever on what I pick up or how I put any strain on my back. 

This blog is the second in the series, My Top 10 Blunders and How You Can Avoid Them

My wife, Cathy, and I have routinely discussed how hectic and busy Mondays can be each week.  In fact, Monday night is her night to cook as I usually get home the latest on those nights. One busy Monday morning around 10 a.m., I noticed my cell phone ringing and that it was Cathy calling.  I knew this must be an emergency so I answered my phone, “What’s going on?” Cathy replied, “The dishwasher broke, I can’t even get it to turn on.” I quickly replied, “What the hell do you want me to do about it from the office?”

As a leader, I am always striving to be better and grow my skillset. My need to continue to develop is even striking me at home. Recently, my wife had a choking spell with a grape. I quickly learned that I did not show enough compassion for her situation when I did not immediately leap over the couch. She could not believe that I could be so unconcerned. 

I have been sharing with her my areas for development and some of the things I have been working on, and she is really into giving me constructive feedback. After the grape incident, when emotions had subsided, her exact words to me were, “You should be working on your compassion at home too.” On reflection, I failed to react with the compassion and concern I felt as urgently as I should have.