Culture Matters: Building the Wise Firm

To judge is human nature, and researchers have found that passing judgment has more to do with ourselves than others. That said, we ultimately judge because of our own insecurities. Earl Nightingale once said, “When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself.” Eeek! We judge all the time and we don’t even realize it — strangers in a restaurant, new people on their first day, actions/words in everyday life (boy, that email was scathing). The heart of the matter is, judgment can be extremely detrimental to relationships, work environments and our own psyches. 

I will be the first to admit that I do not enjoy difficult conversations (and I know I am not alone). Many of us cringe at the thought. Sometimes we avoid them altogether or stall at the very least. Other times, we are filled with so much anxiety that the conversation isn’t even effective. However, difficult conversations are a part of life and we better get used to them because they aren’t going anywhere. In fact, delaying or avoiding conversations can make the situation worse.

“Never miss a free throw; they are free.” I heard my coach’s words as I stood on the line at the end of my high school career. Feet staggered, just about shoulder length apart. The ref threw me the ball. I bent my knees, bounced it three times, down and up and follow through - swish, nothing but net. The ref threw me the ball for the second shot. Down and up and follow through and swish, sunk it again.