3 Considerations Impacting the Severity of a Lie

This past Saturday, April Fool’s Day, my daughter was excited about telling a few lies. She started by placing black tape over the front of the remote control which made it seem as if the TV didn’t work when my wife tried to turn it on. This was an innocent and fun lie that caused very little emotional distress. For her next lie, she created a bit more drama.

She had a sleepover planned with one of her teammates after their soccer game. Her friend was going to ride home with us and spend the night. Her friend’s mom and dad had already made plans based on their daughter’s sleepover plans. In the car on the way to the game, my daughter decided to text her friend and tell her she was sick, which meant no sleep over. Her friend’s parents began to scramble to change plans and make alternative arrangements.

As I was driving, my daughter told me about the great April Fool’s Day prank she pulled on her friend. I thought about all the plans that were changing and the stress that my daughter was creating for her friend’s family.

I told her, “You need to text her back and tell her that it was a joke.”

After she texted her, I asked, “Did she text you back?”

My daughter replied, “No sir.”

To which I stressed, “You need to call her because her parents are probably scrambling to change their plans.”

She called and explained to her friend that she was joking and her friend’s parents went along with it. The dad even took the opportunity to play a few jokes on his daughter related to forgetting her bag—which meant that the sleepover would have to be pushed to another weekend. Luckily, no one was harmed by these great April Fool’s Day pranks.

The severity of each of these lies differed. Lies are used by fraudsters to fool those who trust them, and the severity of the fraudster’s lies can be significant. The following three distinctions are important to consider when evaluating the severity of a lie and may even help you manage the risk of fraud:

1. Most lies create damage. The damage can directly impact the person telling it, through guilt and remorse, or it can directly impact the person receiving it, like my daughter’s friend who was probably upset that she wouldn’t be able to stay with her friend. Lies can also create indirect damage through a ripple effect that impacts others, like the parents who started changing their plans. Trust is usually damaged most often, and there are times when lies create monetary damages, especially when someone is committing fraud.
2. The length of time a lie lasts increases the severity of a lie. As the lie ages, the liar usually tells more lies or continues to hide the truth by remaining silent. This intensifies the feeling of foolishness or stupidity that is felt by the person who believed the lie. Fraudsters usually have to string together a significant number of lies to cover their tracks.
3. The relationship between the parties impacts the severity of the lie. As an example, if a person you just started dating lies to you about dating other people, it may not bother you too much if you discover the truth early in the relationship. On the other hand, if you find out your wife or husband has been cheating on you for years, you will probably be hurt more deeply when you discover the truth. Relationships are built on trust, and the greater you trust someone, the more severe the lie will be once discovered. Business owners and executives are usually the ones paying the emotional price if fraud is discovered because the fraudster is usually the most trusted employee in the organization.

Lies are a funny thing—they can lead you to the truth if you can dissect them and understand the people who tell them. This series will provide you with some tools to help understand them. However, you must practice using these tools to enhance your skills. I challenge you to evaluate the severity of your next lie, which is right around the corner.

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